Into the Darkness that Swallowed Me: A Sequel
by withapenstroke
Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, made her go crazy. Yet in darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.
1. Prologue

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

Prologue:

They said I'd never recover, deemed my case hopeless and move on. They gave up on Terra, too. Terra must have felt like this, trapped in a stone prison, unable to talk, unable to move. The difference is my prison is flesh, trapped within my own mind. Is it my mind? I think therefore I am. I think but the Titans don't believe I am. The Titans don't acknowledge my existence. Still. I think, but am I? I do not run and play in the fields with Mark. The fields do not exist. No fields, therefore I am not dead. If death is not the darkness that swallowed me, then I must exist. Unless death is nothingness with glimpses of somethings. What does it mean to exist but not live? I remember a day when darkness swallowed me. The day I ceased to live. I still breathe. I still think. I still exist, but I do not live.


	2. 1: A Green Cuckoo Flew Over My Nest

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter One: A Green Cuckoo Flew Over My Nest

A green cuckoo flew over my nest and turn into a boy. The boy began to speak, but I thought, how can a bird speak? He mumbled incoherently; something about tofu and an alleyway. A tofu monster chased me down an alley and called itself mustard. "Drink me," it roared and then melted away.

The bird-boy mentioned forgiveness. Forgiveness and an alleyway. Forgiveness in an alleyway? I did not understand.

I sensed a metallic presence. A foreigner to my plastic world. I stared at the green bird-boy's belt. It was made of metal. I don't know why this was important. I simply stared. I don't know why it excited me. I just stared. Stared and did not move. The boy looked down and began back out of the room.

Plastic. Whiteness. My world made sense again.

A green cuckoo flew over my nest and turned into a boy. The green boy turned into a cuckoo, called me cuckoo and flew away. I looked at my nest and wondered if I too could fly away. Then I thought, how can I fly without wings?


	3. 2: Quoth the Raven, Nevermore

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Disclaimer Second: No copyright infringement intended on "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

Ch2: Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.

_Once upon a midnight dreary, while I shivered weak and weary,_

_Over tiles cold and curious on the ever reaching floor,_

_While I shivered, nearly talking, suddenly there came a knocking,_

_As if someone rudely mocking, mocking at the cellblock door._

'_Tis some visitor," I thought, 'knocking at the cellblock door -_

_Only this, and nothing more._

The Raven perched in front of me, squawking at me, mocking my insanity. The constant crowing drove me crazy or rather, helped keep me in the dark. Beady eyes. Those beady yellow eyes bored into my soul. Her beak peck pecking, picking at my brain. My vegetable of a mind. Corn flavored. The Raven pecking at my corn flavored brain, tearing it to pieces. Quoth the Raven, "Corn on the Cob."

There once was a girl named Terra. Who made friends with a Raven. The Raven perched on her shoulder and talked to her. Both grew to love each other. It was unusual that the Raven would befriend this girl, this traveler. The girl broke the bird's trust. The Raven pecked out the girl's eyes and flew into the distance. A boulder fell from the sky and crushed the girl and with that crushed the Raven's dreams. The Raven did not realize how connected she was to this girl. Crying, nearly dying, the Raven flew toward the sun, attempting to feel warmth once again. Her heart, however, had broken with the crunching of the girl's bones. Dust to dust.

I shivered. My body trembled. "Prophet!" My mind's eye screamed. "Thing of evil!"

This Raven made another friend, another girl. This girl was the other girl's sister. The Raven sensed this connection and tried to repair its heart by befriending the sister. This friendship lacked in purity. The Raven mistrusted. The girl was disgusted. A dark presence surrounded the Raven and thus surrounded the girl. The girl went slip slipping toward insanity. Slip slipping into darkness.

The Raven now pecked my brain. The girl's brain just as it had Terra's eyes. Blindness. Mental instability. I shivered again. My body twisted and contorted. Prophet. Thing of evil. The Raven terrified me. Moaning, groaning. The mutterings slipped from my lips. My lips? Was that possible? No sound had touched my lips in months.

The Raven cried. Hands slipped around my head. Still, I shook. Still, I trembled. My head hit the wall behind. Thump. Crack. My head rolled to the side. My body went limp but my eyes remained open. The Raven's cries reached my ears.

"Nevermore," the Raven cried. "Nevermore!"

Whether from pain or fear, the Raven's words confused me, just as the Cuckoo had. Why were these fowl concerned for me? Why did they disturb my fitful slumbers? My nonsensical dreaming? If you could call it dreaming.

A raven perched in front of me.

_And the raven, never quitting, still is sitting, still is sitting_

_On the tile floor of the room just before the cell-room door;_

_And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon that is dreaming,_

_And the fluorescent light streaming throws shadows on the floor;_

_And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor_

_Shall be lifted - nevermore!_


	4. 3: Robot Chicken

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

Ch3: Robot Chicken

A robot chicken roosts outside my window. Why won't it come inside? The chicken clucks. The machinery is running. I can hear the gears spinning and clicking together. The Robot plays Chicken. Robot Chicken.

His hand teeters on the doorknob. Metal twists. Pause. Falter. The metal man turns chicken.

I see him through the window. His voice rains from the sky.

"Sorry, Max."

A voice from the ceiling. A voice from the heavens. Ceiling god.

"I wish I could come in, but I have enough metal in me to make a metal detector go crazy."

Pause. Crazy. Metal detector. Crazy. Metal bender. Crazy.

"Sorry, Max."

Remorse.

"That comment was inappropriate."

I had a dream.

The metal man walked through the metal detector, and I lit up like a Christmas tree. I waved a metal wand but it disappeared. Instead, I saw my hand. Beep. Beep. Beep. The metal detector. I blinked. The metal detector was going crazy. My fingers tingled above the metal, sensing the metal's presence. Beep. Beep. Beep. Was I going crazy? No. I was already insane.

"I'll come back tomorrow..."

The voice from the ceiling.

"..check on your status..."

The voice from the chicken safe behind the window.

"...medical readings..."

I scared the robot.

"I'm rooting for you, Max."

Bawk. Bawk. Bawk.

"We're all rooting for you."

Chicken man.

_The rooster crowed, and I denied my sanity. _

The chicken was rooting for me.

_Once. Twice. Thrice._

I wasn't rooting for myself.


	5. 4: Invictus

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Disclaimer Second: No copyright infringement intended on "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>Into the dark that swallowed me,<em>

_Black as the pit from wall to wall._

_I thank wherever Slade may be,_

_For my unconquerable soul._

Nightmares are a constant in my darkness. Slade's fist connects with my jaw. His boot slams against my shoulder, sending me flying into the wall. His voice echoes through my hollow head. The voice is the worst part of my frail existence, hammering into my flesh like nails. I hate the voice. His voice. His punishment. He would view this as a punishment for my betrayal. Wasted talent.

_In the fell clutch of confusion,_

_I have not winced or cried aloud. _

_Under the bludgeoning of insanity,_

_My head is bloody, but unbowed._

There is nothing quite like knowing something is off but not knowing what that something is. The walls are melting, dripping slowly like molasses down, down. I can feel something wrong with this picture. My mind screams at me, begging for understanding but no sound touches my lips. A wall made of molasses. Something wrong. But what? Maple syrup, bone white, creeping slowly downward, sweating from the walls. When notions of sanity pop into my head, insanity cracks like a whip, keeping me in check. My mind beats me bloody. Blood seeps from my mind like molasses down the walls. Beads of blood, rather than those of sweat, collect on my forehead. Bloody I may be, but the fight has not left me. The notion of sanity still lingers, ever so quietly, in my soul.

_Beyond the silence and tears, _

_Looms but the horror of Slade, _

_And yet his damage through the years_

_finds, and shall find, me unafraid._

Silence. Utter silence. Horrid silence. The rare visitor breaks this pattern of silence. Tears. I watch them cry, one by one, wishing I too could express my sadness. The darkness lingers, suppressing these expressions. He lingers in the shadows. Slade. Deathstroke, striking like a cobra. He robbed me of my childhood, now he robs me of my adolescence. He beat me bloody and, in his absence, my own mind has taken up the task. Still, I am unafraid. Damaged, broken maybe, but unafraid.

_It matters not how straight the jacket,_

_How charged with punishments the scroll,_

_I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE_

_I AM THE MASTER OF MY SOUL_

They leave me in solitude, observing and watching, hoping for some improvement. As weeks go by, their watch falters. They've given up. My crimes are stacked against me. Even if I overcome this psychotic break, what punishments await my clarity? I have enough faults against me, my time with Slade, my brief stay with the Hive. Villains used and abused me. I will be punished for their crimes. Still, I struggle to gain my sanity._ I am the master of my fate._ My eyes flicker to the doorknob. The walls are solid, a temporary moment of clarity. _I am the captain of my soul._ The metallic doorknob turns slightly to the left. _No._ I, the master of my fate, turn the knob. I turn it without having to touch it. I have powers. I am a metal-bender. I am the master of...the walls begin to melt again. The metallic knob springs back to its stationary position.

Darkness swallowed me. A dark aura seeped through my pores, attaching to my mind like a parasite, eating away my sanity. Why does the Raven cry? A dark aura exists within the Raven. The Raven pushed the darkness outside her and forced it onto me. The darkness surrounded and swallowed me whole. Perhaps this is why the Raven cries. She blames herself. Her darkness birthed my insanity. She comes more often than the others. Driven by guilt or some twisted sense of remorse.

_I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul_. Today came a flicker of sanity with no one around to witness it. Today came a glimmer of hope, but I alone took hope away. Perhaps this cursed state can be broken. Perhaps these chains can be lifted._ I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul._ As long as they don't give up. Some already have. She won't. Maybe she will. The darkness lifted for a moment, but with none to witness it, my sanity again slipped away. A bloody mess drifts into the darkness. Oh hello, darkness. Back so soon?


	6. 5: Oz

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Disclaimer Second: No copyright infringement intended on The Wizard of Oz. Both the book and the movie.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>A tornado came and took me away. High as a balloon, floating down, I said to myself, "I don't think I'm in California, anymore."<p>

I saw a young girl with golden blonde hair and a glittery blue dress. She waved a wand, muttering profanities to herself. As I came closer, I realized the profanities were aimed at her glittery blue dress. She did not like dresses. When she saw me, her demeanor changed entirely.

"Why hello!" she exclaimed.

"Hello." I answered.

"Are you lost?"

"Do I look lost?"

She nodded her head.

"Oh, then perhaps I am." I looked around. "Where am I?"

She giggled. "My dear child, you are in the land of Oz."

"Oz?"

She nodded again. "You must be looking for something, everyone who comes here is."

"Oh," I said again. "Perhaps I am."

"Have you lost something."

"My sanity. Do you know where I can find it?"

"If anyone knows, the wizard of Oz will."

"Where can I find this wizard?"

She pointed to a yellow brick road.

"Just follow the yellow brick road!"

"Follow the yellow brick road?"

"Yes, follow the yellow brick road."

"Okay."

I started toward it

"Wait!"

I stopped.

"You need a companion."

She pulled her skirt aside to reveal a tiny green dog.

"His name is BB." She smiled, "He will help you on your journey."

I shrugged my shoulders and continued walking away. The little dog followed behind me.

As we walked down the road, a young boy dropped from the sky and called himself Peter.

"You want to go to Neverland?"

"But how do we get to Neverland?"

"Fly of course!"

"Fly?"

"It's easy. Just think of a wonderful thought…"

I stopped him right there.

"I have no wonderful thoughts."

"Oh."

"How do we get to the wizard?"

He pointed down the road. "Follow the yellow brick road."

"Follow the yellow brick road?"

He nodded solemnly and flew away.

"Come on BB," I said to the dog, and we continued on our way.

A lioness jumped out of a corn patch. She had glowing green eyes and fire red hair. The little dog jumped into my arms. The lioness circled and growled. The dog trembled.

"Are you going to eat us?" I asked simply.

She began to cry.

"No," it blubbered. "I-I caaaan't. you weren't even afraid."

"The dog was afraid."

"He doesn't count."

"Oh."

I began to walk away.

"Don't leave me alone!" The lion jumped in front of us. "Where are you going?"

"To see the wizard."

"Can I come? I need courage."

I shrugged, leading the small zoo down the yellow brick road.

A robot man covered in hay stepped out from the corn patch. The lion hid behind me. I rolled my eyes.

"What are you looking for?" I asked impatiently.

"I could do with a brain." He said.

"That's for sure." I sighed. "We're off to see the wizard."

"The wonderful wizard of Oz?"

"The wonderful wizard of Oz."

"Hurrah!"

"Hurrah" the lioness answered.

"Bark!" the dog chimed in.

"You can come if you want."

The straw covered robot man joined our ranks.

Further along the path a metallic boy stood, frozen, vines growing around his feet. A can of oil lay on the ground near him. I picked up the can and poured some oil on his joints. The tin boy began to move.

"Thanks," he muttered.

I began walking away.

"I need a heart," he growled.

The lioness trembled.

"Come with us."

"Fine."

As we continued on our way, a witch blocked our path.

"You shall not pass!" She cried.

Pale skin. Violet hair. I glared.

"It's your fault I'm here!"

She nodded.

"I need to see the wizard!"

She shook her head.

"He's the only one that can help!"

Again she shook her head.

The oil can was still in my hand. I dumped the contents over her head and she melted away. I sprinted down the road, looking for my sanity.

The castle peeked over the horizon. I ran harder, faster. Then I was walking inside. A huge head floated in front of me.

"Hello?"

"Who dares approach my presence?"

"I don't know."

"What do you want?"

"My sanity."

"I cannot help!"

The head vanished.

"No!" I screamed.

A rustling sound reached my ears. A curtain moved in the corner of the room. I walked toward it. The head reappeared.

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"

I tore apart the curtain and stepped back.

"Hello Max."

"No."

"I am the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz."

"No."

Slade stood before me.

"I cannot help you with your sanity because, honestly, your instability is much more beneficial to me than your stability. Unless," he smiled. "you come back to me?"

"NO!"

"Very well."

Slade vanished, leaving me alone, the room empty.

It tapped my shoes together. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

There was no place like home.

My eyes focused briefly.

She stood at the window, watching. Pale white skin. Violet hair. Steady eyes. She stood at the window, waiting. What was she waiting for? This wasn't some dream I would wake up from.

No place like home.


	7. 6: The Puppet Master

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>The blonde visited. The blonde with whom I share a connection. A connection I do not understand. Cannot comprehend.<p>

She sits beside me, stroking my hair. I let her because of the connection. The connection I do not understand. I could see the dirt under her fingernails. Another connection. The girl's connection with earth. Earth song. Songbird. She was my song bird.

"We did it," she whispers softly. "We're free."

Free. How could I be free? No wings to fly. Trapped. Trapped in this nest of hallucination.

There once was a puppet master named Slade. Slade owned two puppets, both female. One of the female puppets had brown hair and metal hands. She was his favorite until the second puppet came into his possession. The second puppet had blonde hair and intense blue eyes. Her clay hands were delicate and powerful. The puppet master made the female puppets dance. He controlled their moves with string. They did his will, his bidding. The brown haired puppet had a realization. If the strings were cut, the puppet master would lose control. Every day, the brown haired puppet would cut a string. Yet as she cut her strings, the blonde's seemed to grow stronger, thicker.

"Terra if you let him, he'll attach a string to your heart and then to your soul."

"You're just jealous, Max. You don't understand."

However, it was the blonde puppet who did not understand.

Slade took Terra out of the box and caused her to dance wildly. Terra grew tired and did not want to dance anymore. Slade ignored her pleas and caused her to dance even more wildly than before. Terra cried.

The next night, Terra realized Max only had one string attached to her.

"What happened to your strings?"

"I've been cutting them, slowly, one at a time."

"I want to be a real girl," Terra lamented.

"His power is growing. If you want to be free, you'll have to cut your strings all at once."

"Can you cut them for me?"

Max tried, but the strength of the string withstood the sharpness of the scissors. The next day, when Slade took Terra out of the box, Terra refused to dance. She withdrew a pair of scissors and threw them at the puppet master. He released the strings and, as he did, they fell from her arms and legs. As she fled, the Terra puppet changed into a girl. The puppet master cursed viciously and went to the box for his other puppet. When he saw only one string attached to the puppet, he understood she was the source of problem. He took her to his workshop, determined never to lose control again. He attached metallic strings to the puppet. Impenetrable strings. He caused Max to dance wildly in Terra's place, refusing to relinquish control.

Terra continued to stroke my hair.

"He can't hurt us anymore."

The puppet master?

A tear tricked down her cheek. She could express what I longed to. Tears. Sadness. Trapped in the nest of my own skin.

A puppet. I was strung up against the wall, forced to do the bidding of others. Metallic strings attached to my mind, controlling the nightmares. I shivered.

Of course the puppet master couldn't hurt her. She was free. I was now his puppet, stuffed into a box, awaiting his commands. Once out of my box, I would be forced to dance. Is that why they kept me here? Trapped in a box? Stripped of my wings?

I want to be a real girl.

My songbird left me in the box, the cage.

She was no longer a puppet.


	8. 7: The Phoenix

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

Another bird chirps to the chicken man. Her words race rapidly like tires hitting the pavement. She starts, then stops, then starts, then stops. Her words remind me of a revving engine, waiting for the right moment to peel off. She looks my direction. A bright red Firebird. She nods to the metal man and walks inside. She is my Phoenix. A foreign bird. Mythological. Out of place. She belongs to another world, a happier world. Not my world.

"Oh my dear friend, Max."

Genuine concern resides in her inflection. It frightens me.

"I have not given up hope. You will find your way back to us, I simply know it! Once you have gained wellness we will drink the mustard and join the sunshine!"

Mustard sunshine.

My phoenix never cries. The fire bird is always joyful, always singing, always optimistic.

When a phoenix bursts into flames and dies, it is reborn. If my phoenix were to die, she would be reborn. She once told me stories of her transformation. A foreign creature attempted to eat her alive. Trapped in a cocoon, she could do nothing to prevent her death. Robin saved her. Robin did everything in his power to prevent her death. He called her beautiful.

I never understood the fear she experienced until the darkness swallowed me. Darkness I cannot comprehend. Darkness I dare not discuss. The darkness wrapped me in a mental cocoon. I can do nothing to prevent death or gain life. The Titans aren't doing everything in their power to prevent my death. In fact, some are coaxing me to die, to end my pathetic existence. A monster waits in the darkness, outside my cocoon. He's waiting for the right moment, the peak of transformation, to eat me alive. No one calls me beautiful.

Some say the fire bird flies around giving hope to people. Some say its tears possess healing powers. My phoenix never cries but remains naively hopeful. She expects recovery. She cannot be lost to the darkness. The threat of darkness would force my phoenix to burst into flames. When the fire bird is reborn, the metal bender will die. For if the bird of hope loses its hope, what hope is there? Her tears aren't worth the price of her despair. Her tears would equal defeat.

She leans closer, falling to her knees.

"Oh, friend."

Her voice quivers.

"I am terribly sad. Come back to us friend Max, flee this state of vegetable."

Water touches my face. A tear, not mine, hits my cheek, trailing downward. My phoenix is crying. My phoenix cannot cry. I cannot allow my phoenix to cry. My hand inches forward. I cannot decide if I'm imagining the movement. My fingers touch her knee and a small groan forms on my lips. Then my hand shrinks back. Silence touches my lips.

The phoenix gasps. She leans back.

"Friend, Cyborg!"

She shouts, knocking on the thick plastic barrier. The metal man rushes to the observation window.

"Friend Cyborg!" She gasps, "Friend Max has moved her hand! She touched my knee and uttered a most pleasant sound! There is hope! There is hope!"

I did not imagine the movement. It actually happened. Drawn by the desire to stop the phoenix's tears, I touched her knee. My phoenix cannot cry, because no possibility of healing exists. I cannot resurface into the realm of sanity until I face the darkness that swallowed me.

I cannot face the darkness. I cannot be healed. My phoenix clings to false hope. The other Titans won't believe her. She is too hopeful. Just as well. I settle back into the cocoon of insanity. One day the monster will come and feed on my flesh. I'm ready. I'm ready for this nightmare to be over.


	9. 8: Red Robin

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>A red-breasted Robin looks through my window. A songbird without a song. He stares at me with his fierce eyes. He despises me for my connection with Slade. A connection we share.<p>

A Native American legend attributes the robin's red breast to its unceasing determination to save a boy and his father by fanning the embers of a dying fire. This Robin possesses that same determination. I can see it in his eyes. Not for me. For the citizens of Jump, for those he loves, but not for me. He won't fan the embers of my dying fire. He has no desire to extend my life. After much hesitation, the Robin flutters inside, perching beside me.

"I almost didn't come."

Robins are symbolic of spring, of rebirth and renewal. Perhaps this is the connection between the Robin and the Firebird. One symbolizes the actions of the other. They complete each other. He called her beautiful.

"Starfire commented about movement."

Robin was born on the first day of spring. I know this because Slade knows. Slade knows everything about Robin. Nanobytes. Apprentice. A loathed connection.

"You touched her knee."

Robins are active during the day. They hunt alone. They work alone. At night they nest as a flock. The darkness forces them to gather.

The Robin kneels beside me. I'm frightened. Robin never visits. He declared my case hopeless. He labeled me a criminal, a lunatic.

"Listen, I know you're in there, Max. I know you're afraid. When my parents were killed, a man took me in and gave me a home. He wasn't always kind."

Orphans. Another connection. It's a hard knock life. I never knew my parents. They were threatened, enticed into giving me to a laboratory. Robin had known his parents. I would never know mine.

"Parts of me are like the man, but I alone can determine which parts to keep. We choose our own destinies."

_I am the master of my fate_.

"Come back to us."

_I am the captain of my soul_.

"The criminal charges have been dropped."

_Row, row, row your boat._

"Extenuating circumstances."

_Gently down the stream_.

"I thought I'd come by."

_Merrily. Merrily_.

"See for myself."

_Life is but a dream_. Dream? No. One can always wake from dreams.

Robin flies away. Metal man comes, and they chatter. After sharing a few words, Robin presses a button. His voice thunders through the room. April showers.

"Cyborg will keep me posted on your progress."

May flowers.

"You ARE making progress, Max.'

Parts of me are like the man. Is that why I fear the darkness?

"Don't be afraid."

We determine which parts to keep.

Cyborg installed cameras today. Proof of progress. You're on candid camera. We choose our own destinies? Am I choosing darkness?

I choose not to face the darkness. Slade would face the darkness. Hiding from darkness is a darkness in itself.

_Row, row, row your boat. _

_Roughly up the stream._

_Warily, warily, warily, warily._

_Life is not a dream_.


	10. 9: The Visitor

Unedited Summary: What happens when those we love write us off as crazy? The Titans knew a girl, a girl who spent her life in the shadow of others. They said the outside world was too much for her, that having to make moral decisions literally made her go crazy. Even Terra, her sister, was forced to accept the girl's fate. Yet in the darkness even crazies catch glimpses of light.

Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the teen titan's characters. The only character in this story I own is Max Steeler.

Explanation: This is a sequel to "The Untold Story of Max Steeler." This story is told from Max's perspective, which is not exactly stable. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>He sneaks in during the night. I don't know how he accomplishes this feat. He ignores the cameras. They mean nothing to him. The cameras will never report his presence. Mum's the word. The cameras are silent. The cameras obey him. They follow his orders. He stands against the wall, staring at me, reminding me of past conversations. We used to be friends. I stare blankly. My thoughts do not fill my eyes. My eyes are a blank sheet of paper, masking my soul. A blank page for the manipulation of others.<p>

"Max," the man speaks. "I want to help you. I've always wanted to help you. I know you're still there. You may have the Titans fooled, but you're not fooling me."

I can see myself standing defiantly, hand resting against the wall. My eyes flash. My hand shakes. I can see myself standing. Yet I do not stand. My head rests against the walls. Sweat collects on my forehead. I am overwhelmed by fear of the man. I cannot quite pinpoint his name. He steps from the shadows. An eye patch rests over one eye. He takes a knee.

"I gave you a home. I made a place for you. The Titans did this to you. Not me."

I'm tempted to believe. The words are meaningless because I cannot pinpoint the man. Deadly strokes. My head rolls to the side. My eyes connect with the camera.

"Come back to me."

Why do they not see him?

Deathstroke.

Why is he here?

Slade.

"You belong to me. You've always belonged to me."

A puppet guided by his strings. He taunts me.

The cameras do not see him. He exits. I am left alone. No witnesses.

I plunge further into the darkness.


End file.
